Jay Leno, on John Ashcroft when he was attorney general of the U.S. "According to the L.A. Times, Ashcroft wants to take 'a harder stance' on the death penalty. What's a harder stance on the death penalty? We're already killing the guy!How do you take a harder stance on the death penalty? What—are you going to tickle him first? Give him itching powder? Put a thumbtack on the electric chair?"