Community Update

I Apologize Or Do I?

Seems in
our society we hear the words “I
apologize” several times a week in the media.  The two word uttering is usually followed
with:  “Those remarks are not illustrative
of who I am and thus I am sorry if I offended anyone”.  After hearing those words our society has a
tendency to grant forgiveness and then move on to the next offensive incident. And
of course, no matter what one utters these days there is always a group that
feels offended or disrespected. Keep in mind too that prior to someone offering
an apology, we vilify the person while we await a “mea culpa”. 

Apologies
are uttered by politicians, sports players, celebrities, and a whole host of
ordinary people.  As the public awaits
the eventual apology from people who have somehow offended our senses, we
sometimes mount a campaign to have sponsorships removed from athletes or we vow
not to vote for a particular person or we stage a boycott of a store or
product.  Then once an apology is offered
we welcome the offender or company back into our life.  Here is what disturbs me about this whole
sordid practice.

First of
all when someone makes a comment that is offensive to society, or to a group, that
comment generally reflects the thought process and the inner most feelings of
the person.  People make statements that
are part of their upbringing or belief system. 
In their own minds, they see nothing wrong with their comments and it
demonstrates an articulation of their thought process which they no doubt have
shared with close friends most of their lives. 
It’s when the media picks up on the comments that people start to
backtrack because it may mean a loss of a job or a sponsorship.  Someone intervenes and perhaps even writes an
apology for the person to be released to the media.  But has this changed the opinion or the utterings
of the person – I think not!  It merely
means this person will be a lot more careful about verbalizing his or her
thoughts but the original offensive comments are probably still a part of this
person’s DNA and likely will not be altered.

So if you
doubt what I am presenting, here is an outline for apologies that I think illustrates
what I have been saying:  1.  Athlete or politician makes offensive comment
about a particular group.  2.  The public is outraged and demands an apology.  3. 
Offender offers apology.  4. All
is forgiven and we move on.

Most of the
apologies are just media gimmicks and the contrite words ring hollow.  Keep in mind that there are companies that
specialize in preparing apologies for corporate heads, politicians and media
types.  Also, I am certainly not categorizing
all apologies as theatrical events because there are some that are genuine and
heartfelt.  But you be the judge if the
apologies from Don Imus, Chris Brown, Mel Gibson, John Mayer, David Letterman,
President Clinton, Jim Carrey, Jesse Jackson, and Tracy Morgan were heartfelt
and genuine or just some attempt made out of expediency to rescue a career?   Just wondering.  All of them made comments that were offensive
– some of them more than once!

In the
meantime, I apologize for writing this column. 
You will have to determine if I really mean it!

Bill Kalmar