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Top Ten Holiday Shopping Irritations

This is what is bothering me

Top Ten Holiday Shopping Irritations

As we move into the frenzy of the Holiday shopping season most of us will have encounters with shopping center store personnel and restaurant staff. Stores and restaurants will be filled with people looking for that perfect gift, then quickly digesting a meal in order to be prepared for another crazed journey into the department stores. Let’s hope that we can do so with a minimum amount of stress and confusion. In that regard here are my tips to make that a reality:

10. Store personnel should greet us with a smile and a friendly greeting even if they are tired and exasperated. As has been said – The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made. Frankly, if store personnel want to separate me from my money I want them to treat me as if I were the store owner.

9. Advertised specials should be in stock and be in abundance. Recently I have discovered that store computer data fields are uploaded with products on sale before the actual items arrive. This means calling the store and getting assurance that the item is in stock only to be disappointed upon arriving when no one can locate it. In those instances I want an additional discount given when the item does come in to compensate me for my inconvenience.

8. Please don’t hand me a receipt that contains a survey about customer service unless you provide me with $5 off on my next purchase. In my opinion most surveys that offer large cash prizes are bogus because I have yet to talk to store personnel who are aware of a winner’s list. And evidently, people that have returned to a store stating that they have won are non-existent.

7. Message to toy stores – please remove those irritating fake guinea pigs that chase a plastic ball inside a cage. I don’t want one and won’t enter your store because you have one on display in the window.

6. If there is a tip jar in your store or restaurant please don’t think that it is my responsibility to raise your minimum wage or your standard of living by filling it with crisp Lincolns. The price you charged me for my meal or for an item I purchased should cover your salary.

5. My calendar lists December 25 as “Christmas Day” so if I extend such a greeting to you, I expect you to reciprocate! Yes, there are companies that feel such a greeting is verboten but if that is the case, just whisper it in my ear. And if shoppers identify themselves as employees from the ACLU, they should have “Merry Christmas” inscribed on their receipt.

4. Do not refer to me and those in my party as “guys” as “how are you guys doing?” When did “sir” and “madam” go out of popularity?

3. Restaurant staff – don’t come by our table and ask: “Are you still working on that?” That question is only valid if I am constructing a LEGO rocket ship at my table. And if you add the words “Are you guys still working on that” I might just spill your tip jar on the floor.

2. The words from the store clerk “Were you able to find everything” makes me think that store personnel are hiding items much like a scavenger hunt. My response to that question is: “As a matter of fact I did. The ten dollar bill behind a box of prunes was most unexpected – so thanks”.

1. Christmas background music should be playing softly in the background but please refrain from our having to listen to “Grandmother Got Run Over By A Reindeer” or “I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas”, or “Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey”.  Anything by the “Carpenters” will do just fine thank you.

So those are my Holiday irritations and wishes. Hope all you guys, er, sorry, I mean ladies and gentlemen have a joyous Holiday Season –that store and restaurant personnel smile and actually act as if they are glad to see you – and that you too find a ten dollar bill behind a box of prunes!

Bill Kalmar

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

liz November 29, 2012 at 09:46 PM
So, Bill... are you being ironic or honest with all of these irritations and wishes?
Bill Kalmar November 29, 2012 at 11:33 PM
Hi Liz - not sure if I know how to be ironic or honest! Most of the time I am just cranky! So Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays whichever way you celebrate! And thanks for writing. We were just in Chesterfield for Thanksgiving visiting our grandchildren. Really enjoyed St. Charles and the parade and the Santas! Bill

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