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Politics & Government

It's Party Time, for Those Early-Morning Fliers at Lambert

Missouri lawmakers made sure you can get liquor at the airport at 4am, but nothing is open.

The Missouri legislature failed to do anything about strengthening state ethics laws, or act on distracted driving with cell phones and texting. Or clean up the Missouri Employers Mutual insurance mess, by getting out of the insurance business.

No, lawmakers didn’t do any of that.

But legislators were on top of this important issue: The inability to buy liquor at St. Louis-Lambert International Airport at 4am.

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Yes, they changed the state liquor laws so you can buy a drink at the airport at 4am. In the past, you had to wait until 6am to buy a drink.

One problem: There is no business open at 4am that sells liquor by the drink at the airport.

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Jeff Lea, the communications director at the airport told me the Chilli’s on Concourse C opens at 5am and has a bar. Does anything sound better than scrambled eggs and a whiskey sour? 

Now, the first flights of the day from Lambert Airport leave a few minutes before 6am.

Lea said people start showing up for 6am flights as early as 4am. For a drink? He added that TSA begins security screening at 4:15am.

A state lawmaker was quoted saying that the liquor law change would help international travelers stuck at the airport late at night.

Unfortunately, there are only two direct international flights to St. Louis—both by Air Canada from Toronto. One arrives at 10:55am and the other arrives at 5:30pm. I suppose there could be thirsty international travelers on layovers.

To sum up: The state legislature passed a law so businesses that aren’t open can help travelers who probably don’t exist.

Suggestions: 

  • Maybe the TSA workers going on duty at 4:15am could use a stiff belt.
  • Starbucks could start selling Irish Coffee at 4:30am.

I'm humming this tune now, with a twist in the lyrics.

It’s quarter to five,

There is no one in the airport but you and me

So set 'em up Joe, because

It’s one for my baby and one more for my flight crew.

 

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